Category Archives: US Congress – other

Women & congress

womensmarch
from Democracy For America

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Six Weeks’ Paid Leave Opposed By People With Thirty-Three Weeks’ Paid Leave

By Andy Borowitz, Borowitz Report, The New Yorker, January 22, 2015

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—President Obama’s proposal to give workers six weeks of paid leave is meeting strong opposition from a group of people who annually receive thirty-three weeks of paid leave.

Members of the group heard the President’s proposal on Tuesday night, one of the few nights of the year when they are required to report to their workplace.

The opponents of paid leave, who show up for work a hundred and thirty-seven days per year and receive paid leave for the other two hundred and twenty-eight, were baffled by other moments in the President’s speech.

For example, they were confused by Obama’s challenge to try to survive on a full-time job that pays fifteen thousand dollars, since they all currently hold a part-time job that pays a hundred and seventy-four thousand dollars.

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Two thoughts from Sinclair and Hightower

by Nathaniel Smith, Politics: A View from West Chester, 12/18/14

Upton Sinclair said in 1935:

“It is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his salary depends upon his not understanding it!”

Do we need to know more to see why, in the age of Citizens United, the US Congress doesn’t want to understand anything scientific except the science of gerrymandering

So let’s update to:

“It is difficult to get Congress to understand global warming, when its reelection depends upon not understanding it!”

Jim Hightower asked, in “The Hightower Lowdown,” July 2014: “If the government says that money is speech, and more money can buy more speech, doesn’t that mean that speech is not free?”

That would be the Supreme Court, those nine immortals who are almost the most important branch of the government, because they can tell the other two branches what they can and cannot do, especially when those two have trouble coexisting on the tree.

Corporations run on the principle that the more shares you own, the more votes you cast. So by that reasoning the more money you have, the more votes you should have, right? Now there, Mr. Chief Justice, is an idea whose time is rapidly coming, if you and your friends choose to give it a push.

I didn’t even make that one up. See “Tom Perkins: People With More Money Should Get More Votes” by Jillian Berman, Huffington Post, 2/14/14. Here’s the gist of the controversial venture capitalist’s idea: “The Tom Perkins system is: You don’t get to vote unless you pay a dollar of taxes…. You pay a million dollars in taxes, you get a million votes.”

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Filed under Nathaniel Smith, US Congress - other, Voting rights

Citigroup to Move Headquarters to U.S. Capitol Building

By Andy Borowitz, The New Yorker, 12/13/14

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The banking giant Citigroup announced on Friday that it would move its headquarters from New York to the U.S. Capitol Building, in Washington, D.C., in early 2015.

Tracy Klugian, a spokesperson for Citi, said that the company had leased thirty thousand square feet of prime real estate on the floor of the House of Representatives and would be interviewing “world-class architects” to redesign the space to suit its needs.

According to sources, Citi successfully outbid other firms, including PMorgan Chase and Goldman Sachs, for the right to move its headquarters to the House floor….

continue reading at The New Yorker

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Filed under Satire, US Congress - other, Voting rights