Washington, 7/31/08 Senator John McCain today announced unexpected initiatives in his planning for future relations with several countries, should he be elected president.
“I am particularly concerned about border disputes, such as those between Iraq and Nepal and between our two good allies Japan and India,” he said.
“Secondly,” the Senator said, “Given the food crisis in the cyclone-affected areas of Asia, I will be brokering peace talks between Burma and Myanmar.”
In European affairs, in order to counter Barack Obama’s well-received multi-country tour earlier this month, McCain announced an impending trip to Czechoslovakia and Yugoslavia. “Our long friendship with the Czechoslovakian and Yugoslavian peoples has been inexplicably ignored in recent political history,” he explained, “And my trip will update those relations, so important in our struggle against the USSR.”
The Ottoman Empire is also on McCain’s list of projected stopover points. “I am much looking forward to meeting the Emperor,” McCain commented, “As well as reconnecting with my old friend Emperor Hailie Salassie in Ethiopia.”
White House press secretary Dana Perino, noted for her detailed grasp of world history and geography, commented: “We wish the Senator well in his travels to areas whose names, for reasons of national security, are currently classified, but to which the current administration has long wanted to pay more attention after they have been identified.”
The Obama campaign said: “We wish Mr McCain well in his planned stopover at the court of Louis XIV.”