Crawford TX 6/10/07
With the countdown on his presidency eagerly watched by his foes, George W. Bush’s remaining admirers have been pressing him to declare his projects for after January 2009.
“President Clinton is working for AIDS treatment around the world; President Carter is conquering guinea worm and now moving on to malaria; I’ve wanted to do something closer to home,” President Bush said; “I’m becoming a NASCAR driver.”
Press secretary Tony Snow explained: “It’s not all that different from what he’s doing now: he’ll try to stay out ahead of the people chasing after him, encourage gas, oil, and rubber consumption, and advertise his sponsor, the great ex-American company Halliburton.”
The First Lady, Laura Bush, exulted: “It’s the perfect job for him. Georgie has always enjoyed model cars, and now he can drive real ones and get away from those pesky Secret Service chauffeurs. He can forget all those big words he’s had to learn in the White House. We’ll be installing a 2.5-mile race track on the ranch,” she added, “paid for by Exxon-Mobil.”